April 8, 2014

Letter to my little honey bee....

Dear Evelyn,

   Three weeks ago, in a whirlwind you finally decided to join our family. One minute im getting ready for bed and the next minute (ok a few hours later) im squeezing your fathers hand as you enter the world. In a blink of an eye you were laying on my chest and i was falling deep in love with you.

The last three weeks have been magic,darling. Although you have only been here a few weeks, I feel like you have been here forever,as though we have met before.

Although I am still recovering from your birth (fractured tailbone ugh) , I try and make sure we have at least one daytime nap together each day. Inevitably i wake up before you do and i steal a few minuets to soak you up- to memorize your smell, your sounds, the feel of your skin against mine, the look of your milk-drunk grins. It is no wonder to me that mothers have been doing this for millennia; there is no greater bliss then being fully present in the moment with a beloved child.

That said, oh boy, girlie, has parenting thrown us for a loop. More then once at the end of the day your father and i have looked at each other exhausted, and commented on how you are simply a higher-needs baby. Everything that came easily with your sister has been a greater challenge with you. You have trouble latching to the breast. You can be set down for MAYBE fifteen cumulative minuets in a day- MAYBE- including diaper changes before you start shrieking like a banshee anytime you momentarily leave human contact. You are exceedingly finecky about sleep, which is to say you only get a nap if you are snuggly tucked inside a carrier which is strapped to my chest while i pace the house until you drift deeply into sleep, or are laying in my arms, OR have a nipple in your mouth. Sometimes you cry for seemingly no reason for an hour or so straight then you let out a little toot and all is good in the world again.

We are slowly getting better at meeting your needs, though. I've sorted out the breastfeeding issues , which really seemed to be the bulk of most of our issues. You are in your ergo most of the time during the day, and whenever we go out, the close contact comforts you and keeps you happy. And well your going to love me for this one but you now poop a few times a day as compared to your once a week poops in the beginning.

And so it goes...

One day when your older and have a chance to read this, I want you to know that you have been a magnificent addition to our family. Your father, your sister, and I are absoltuley over the moon in love with you. We are all enamored by the sounds you make in your sleep and the smiles you throw at us when your belly is full and your diaper is clean. We love marveling in your existence; the smallness of your fingers, the way your toes can grip just like your fathers, and the look of shock on your face everytime you sneeze.

To us, everything about you is perfect.

I love you more than you will ever know.

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